Can you believe this? My how we've changed...
In case you can't read the fine print, here's what it says:
"How soon is too soon? Not soon enough. Laboratory tests over the last few years have proven that babies who start drinking soda during the early formative period have a much higher chance of gaining acceptance and "fitting in" during those awkward, pre-teen and teen years. So, do yourself a favor. Do your child a favor. Start them on a strict regimen of sodas and other sugary carbonated beverages right now, for a lifetime of guaranteed happiness."
A lifetime of happiness? From soda? How about a lifetime of ill-health, rotten teeth, osteoporosis, and obesity?