"Cheater."

I've been thinking a lot lately about my testimony as a Christian.  Oh, I'm not talking about my salvation testimony (which, by the way, you can read from my sidebar to the right). My salvation is secured, and to have a real, true salvation testimony is my greatest (and I mean greatest!) and only treasure. I'm talking about whether or not people know I'm a Christian by the way I live my life... and I want them to.  So I did a little search; not a Google search; no, not that.  I searched my heart.  I thought about the times when my love for the Lord and for others has been the very theme of my existence. Then (oh painful moment) I thought about the times when self was in control.  And I wondered... What on earth would cause self to sit on the throne of my heart?  Read on...

My name is Pride. I am a cheater.

I cheat you of your God-given destiny…

Because you demand your own way.

I cheat you of contentment…

Because you “deserve better than this.”

I cheat you of knowledge…

Because you already know it all.

I cheat you of healing…

Because you’re too full of self to forgive.

I cheat you of holiness…

Because you refuse to admit when you’re wrong.

I cheat you of vision…

Because you’d rather look in the mirror than out a window.

I cheat you of genuine friendship…

Because nobody’s going to know the real you.

I cheat you of love…

Because true love demands sacrifice.

I cheat you of greatness in Heaven…

Because you refuse to wash another’s feet on earth.

I cheat you of God’s glory…

Because I convince you to seek your own.

My name is Pride. I am a cheater.

You like me because you think I’m always looking out for you.

Untrue.

I’m looking to make a fool of you.

God has so much for you, I admit, but don’t worry…

If you stick with me—you’ll never know. 

A humbling little essay, isn't it?  But that's okay!  Because that's what I need to be; that's what I want to be.  Because it's never really been about me in the first place.